Brad and I started the journey to baby number three back in March of last year! I went and had my IUD removed and at that point we went with the not trying not preventing method. Every Month as my period came I said oh well not this month! In August we started trying! I used ovulation predictors and we planned it all. We worked hard to keep it fun! I did not want it to be no like work!
In September my cycle was 4 days late! I was so convinced!! And then she started with a vengeance!! Extra heavy and cramping way worse than usual. I believe I had a chemical pregnancy that month (where a fertilized egg attaches and then releases for no known reason)
Each month I feel more and more discouraged! I feel like a failure! Something must be wrong with me! Why does my body Fail me!!!
We never tried with Caleb and Kylee, Caleb we did not prevent and Kylee was a breastfeeding birth control surprise baby! (the best surprise I have ever received)
I have faith that there is a reason and one day I would like to know!! For now I will make an appointment with my doctor and see what he says!!
Please keep me in your prayers emotionally this is very difficult on me! I am not dealing well with this!!
6 comments:
I struggle with this same thing. I have lost 3 pregnanices now. It is one of the most difficult things ever. But I remind myself when I get really low, that I already have 2 wonderful boys who I love and am blessed with. So many people who fight the fertility battle don't get the oppertunity to have even one of their own, so I need to remember what I do have. Easier said than done, I know. I will keep you in my prayers.
I know how you feel :) It took us 5 years to have Megan (our oldest). I think we may be done now as we've been trying since Sept 08 and nothing has happened except the development of a cyst that necessitated having one of my ovaries removed. You aren't alone! :)
I feel bad for even complaining! I usually do not but I am hormonal and so tired!! I never expected to have a problem! The first 2 were so easy!! I know it will happen in the Lord's time! if that is his plan.
Don't feel bad about complaining. I like to read peoples real feelings, to know I am not the lone ranger. We need to express out emotions.
Do you remember my friend, Melanie? She's struggling with this same thing, and it's hard to watch it happen. I had no idea you were going through it, as well. I'm so sorry, and I will definately keep you in my prayers.
I'm sorry! We will keep you in our prayers.
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